Lend Me Your Ears

As homo sapiens the trait that sets us apart from the rest of the animal kingdom is our gift of language. Sure, other animals communicate through sounds, but their spectrum is quite limited: "DANGER!" or  "Let's Mate." We can communicate sadness through song, happiness through snorting laughter, love in sonnets, story telling through blogs (wink)...and sure"Let's Mate." Thanks to those overachievers at the Tower of Babel we have hundreds of languages and dialects to communicate instructions for survival and odes of love. Thanks to Jenna's post this week, she got me thinking about just how many interactions I've had in Richmond where dudes just don't listen. There's a lot of one-sided jibber jabber.

Fellas, there's a reason you should be scared when a woman becomes eerily quiet in a relationship. It's either:
A) She's really mad at you and thinking of her alibi to the police before she harms you.
B) She's really bored because it's obvious you could give a rat's ass about anything in her life.

The best way to a woman's heart: shoes LISTEN!


Listen to Mr. T. He's awesome.

Maybe you're nervous. Hey I totally get it, but that's why God created beer (Drink Responsibly). Maybe you're an only child and never learned to acknowledge the presence of others. Maybe you're overcompensating for your hum-drum life by trying to seem a lot more interesting than you are. Get a hobby, then we'll talk. Regardless, talking about yourself in an effort to impress a lady actually has the opposite effect. Like Jenna, I've been out with several guys who were eager to talk about themselves, their accomplishments, how many reps they did at the gym yesterday, etc. Although this may impress a girl in her twenties, a lady in her thirties or older is turned off.

Take a trip with me down memory lane...

Setting: local pub
Characters: Me and this guy that thinks he's charming the pants off me by talking about himself. He must've assumed he did a bang up job because he asked for my number.

"Sure," I say. And I rattle off some random numbers.
"Great!" he replies and proceeds to walk away grinning like a Cheshire cat.
"Oh, excuse me!" I yell. He turns with a puzzled look. "Who are you going to ask for when you call?" "What do you mean? You, of course."
"Yeah, but who am I?" Blank stare. "You see you never asked my name."
"Oh! Right?! I was gonna get to that."
"No you weren't. You don't know who I am or what I do. I sure know a heck of a lot about you though. Nice to meet you. Bye."

Having a conversation, especially on a first date, is as much about getting to know the other person as it is about having them get to know you. Asking her questions about her hobbies, work, family, etc. shows that you are interested in her and not just her appearance. And guess what? You may not actually like her answers. That's great too. No time wasted. No love lost. Her hobby is kicking kittens? Pay the check and get outta Dodge. But spending the majority of a conversation talking about yourself brings you no closer to discovering if you like the kitten kicker and it also pushes her further away because she thinks you're a self-centered homo sapien.