You got what I need
And you say he's just a friend
And you say he's just a friend"
Sing it with me! Remember when Hip Hop songs told stories?
Anyhoo, in today's post I'm going to pose the question, "At what point is jealousy warranted?" Some people would argue never. If you trust your boo you should never feel threatened or jealous. Some people would argue you should suspect any and all behavior the minute numbers are exchanged, even if you guys aren't official.
I've had a few dates with a guy recently and things are going fine. Very casual and low key. No one's rushing down the altar up in here. Then I get word that Casey saw the fellow with another gal out and about. Now, Richmond is the size of a pea so this scenario isn't inconceivable. Was I upset that the guy was out and about with another female? Not really. Who am I to get all cray cray and jealous? We're not dating. He didn't put a ring on it. All's fair in love and war.
The issue for me was the fact that the day before the guy just professed his extreme interest and desire to see the relationship turn into something more. But within 24 hours there's all kinds of PDA in a popular Richmond restaurant. So, how sincere was he?
He recognized Casey and immediately sends me an unsolicited message to let me know he's just out with a friend. Then, there was over-explanation to questions I never asked. Is it because he feels he was caught and feels guilty? Is it that he thinks I may be the jealous type and he's trying to assuage my fears? In my book, the truth doesn't require over-explanation because it's quite simple. No added preservatives or Red Dye #3 needed.
Am I jealous about the date? Nope. Am I upset about the possible lack of sincerity? Yep. Daters should be honest at all times. If you feel the relationship has run its course, say so. If you feel that there will be no relationship after date #2, give a heads up. If you are interested in seeing someone more, let them know. If you are casually dating multiple people and would like to sift out the maggots, you may want to mention it. We're all adults. Dating in the new millennium is riskier than drinking bathtub moonshine. The only way we can mitigate the damage is by being honest.
If all parties are honest, hopefully the jealousy is diluted and you don't end up like this when you say (s)he's just a friend...
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