Friday, April 11, 2014

Worst Date Ever #3


The Ladies are excited to announce our Worst Date Ever Series. Over the next 2 weeks we will be posting our dating horrors for your enjoyment. We know our lovely Readers have some dating doozies to share. Leave a comment on any Worst Date Ever post in the next 2 weeks and the Reader with the best Worst Date Ever story will win a freebie giveaway! ***We will not accept profanity, real names or private details (like the google street view of the person’s house....that's just weird).

In retrospect, I should've known something was amiss when Guy chased me out of BW3's to tell me I was the most gorgeous woman he'd ever seen. I'm cute, but no Gisele or Halle.

But the guy was sweet and seemed sincere about me being on Jessica Alba status, so I gave him my number. After a few calls that week we had a date arranged for Saturday night. It started off so well. He remembered the fact that coffee courses through my veins in lieu of blood and had a cappuccino waiting for me. Awww...so far so good.

Disaster #1: Apparently in order to get the promised coffee, I had to pay a WTF toll. As in, my caffeine is being held hostage upstairs in Guy's apartment. And in said apartment is his family photo album where he proceeds to explain everyone in it. WTF.


Disaster #2: When I finally escape Album Alcatraz, I discover my car has been towed. I had asked Guy repeatedly if I could park in a certain spot at his apartment. He assured me it was fine and that visitors do it all the time. But by the time he finished the outline of his family tree, my car was gone. He said not to worry, and that we should just go to our dinner reservation and comedy show as scheduled and take care of it later. He said he would pay for it since he told me to park there. Against my better judgment, I agreed.

Our dinner reservation was at a Edo's Squid. The food was so delicious that I quickly forgot about my car being towed. There was wine, getting-to-know-you conversation, and then.....

Disaster #3: He told coworkers to meet us there to "check me out." WTH?! So the people staring at me from across the room weren't just adult kidnappers. Should I be flattered that he was so enthusiastic about our date that he invited his coworkers? Nah. I was weirded out. I think one of his female coworkers actually tried to take a picture of me.

Off to the comedy club, where our tickets were held at Will Call. He had actually planned this date. At the time, most of my dates usually started off with "So where do you wanna go?" This guy got an A for effort. Maybe too much effort. But the good Lord knew I needed a laugh at that point. The show was good and my beer was cold, so I decided to carpe diem and not fret about my automobile.

After the show, we stopped by the tow lot where they politely informed us that it was cash only to retrieve the car. Guy said "No problem", and we head to the nearest ATM gas station, where Guy proceeds to walk up to customers and recreate Wynona Ryder's scene from Reality Bites where she pays for gas and snacks with her dad's credit card.


Disaster #4: Sitting in the front seat of his car while he tells every gullible person in the West End about how this is our first date and he'd gotten my car towed. If this doesn't seem like a big deal, now imagine having to wave at everyone because he's making these strangers wave to you. He offered to pay for their gas with his parent's credit card if they give him the cash. I think one little old lady was so touched that she may have tipped him.

After this cash for credit scheme, we bust my car out of jail and I wanted to head home. But Guy says he's planned one more thing. Really?! I acquiesced, because honestly I felt bad about the hit his parent's credit card bill had just taken. He had the spot picked out with the best view of the city. There were white twinkling Christmas lights, the weather was still warm, and the Richmond skyline was gorgeous....

....and then DISASTER #5:....
he says,......"You may not hear from me for a few days because I may have to spend 5 days in jail for a DUI."

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