Did You Just Say That Out Loud?

I'm going to let you guys in on a Not-So-Secret: I'm a woman of color. Let's call that color Paloma Pink as it really doesn't matter for the purposes of the following story. So get comfortable and break out the snacks and wine because this story is a doozy.

I "met" the guy featured in this story on eHarmony. He lived out of town but seemed nice enough so I went through the website's question gauntlet. After making it through that process, we exchanged numbers and started texting. The first night of texting consisted of the usual "Where are you from" sort of pleasantries. The next day, we spoke briefly about the crappy weather we had just had. He then asked me what I found attractive in a guy. I said intelligence, wit and confidence were all attractive qualities. Then the conversation took an unexpected turn. 

Yeah. Just like that but not nearly as cool.

Paloma (P): Confidence is an attractive trait in a guy.
Guy (G): Well, I have that in spades.
P: LOL
G: I've never f*cked a [Paloma Pink] girl before.
P: {Stunned silence)

WTH?!?!

G: I've always wondered what it would be like. You know, how different it would be.
P: Are you being serious?
G: Yeah! I think it would be a great experience. I heard [Paloma Pink] girls are amazing and wild in bed.
P: [More stunned disbelieving silence]

Seriously. WTH?!?!

G: Did I offend you?
P: Yes  you did. Your comments were extremely offensive.
G: Lighten up. I meant it as a compliment.
P: I'm not an Other to be used to satisfy your fantasies or fetishes.
G: I know. Sometimes I put my foot in my mouth. Let's start over and pretend that didn't happen.
My response? Said no, stopped the convo and then walked out my bedroom like a boss (just seemed like the right thing to do at the time). It all looked kind of like this:

Yes, that conversation really happened. Yes, it was incredibly rude and offensive on multiple levels. I mean, come on. In what world is it ok to speak to someone like that? Nowhere but this guy's mind. There's no reason to put up with disrespect of any sort, even if dating pickings seem slim. If someone is being offensive or disrespectful, let them know and let them go.