Top 7 Secrets to a Successful Fun Buddy Relationship

In my last post I shared why I think a "Fun" Buddy can serve as an important buffer between you and bad dating decisions. While I'm a big proponent of FBs, these arrangements can be tricky. Here are my top 7 tips for successfully having a Fun Buddy.

1. Don't get attached to your FB. This is rule #1 for a reason. It's OK to genuinely care about your FB as a person, but the moment it feels like more than that, you need to walk away (at least for a while). The easiest way to avoid breaking this rule is to have a FB with some glaringly obvious dealbreaker; for Yummy Dummy and me, that was intellectual mismatch.

2. Don't try to make an ex a FB. Research shows that it's almost impossible to have casual hookups with any man with whom you once imagined marriage and babies. Let's stop pretending anyone ever handles this well.

3. Don't see your FB on the weekends. Save your Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights for dates or your girlfriends. Hello, that's when all the single men of the world are out and about. Which makes it exactly the wrong time to be holed up in bed with Mr. Wrong.

4. Be honest with your friends about your FB. There are a lot of reasons for this. a) Why lie to your friends about who you were just texting? b) Your friends are the best people to keep you from breaking rules 1 and 2. c) If, God forbid, you do break rules 1 or 2, you're going to need your friends. d) Involving yourself in any sort of secret situation with a man is no bueno. Discretion: good; secret affair with a creeper from the internet: bad.

5. Keep your FB separate from your regular life. Yummy Dummy and I live on opposite ends of town and run in completely different social circles. In a city the size of Richmond, that's a huge
bonus.

6. Connect with your FB on social media. It's easy to hide your Fun Buddy in the long list of your facebook friends or instagram followers. Knowing his life helps you to avoid hitting him up when he's out of town, dating someone, or anything else that would make doing so embarrassing. It's also very helpful for rule number 1 - the more often you're faced with whatever annoying, dealbreaking behaviors your FB has, the easier it will be to keep the situation casual.

7. Treat your FB with respect, and demand respect from them. Keeping someone's number in your phone solely for the purpose of drunkenly hitting them up at 1 am is rude and disrespectful. If you want to have an ongoing FB arrangement with someone, treat them like you would any other casual friend whose company you enjoy for one reason or another.

Workable Fun Buddy situations don't just pop up every day. However, if you can find the magic person who's hot but un-date-able and manage to be honest with yourself and everyone else about him, you've hit the jackpot. Enjoy having a sex life without having to date weirdos to get it!