My Worst Date Ever - We Have a Winner!

Congratulations to our twitter follower @simplyTricie for this submission to April's Worst Date Ever contest! All of the ladies agreed... none of us could top this one!

I have had the misfortune of having several horrible dates but the following one sticks out the most.

I was a junior in college and had just broken up with my high school sweetheart.  I wasn’t looking to date anyone, but my roommate dared me to set up a profile on Match.com. Not one to back down from a challenge, I did. A few guys sent me messages (this was way before they started charging to send emails) but one seemed to stand out from the rest.  We exchanged messages and eventually phone numbers.  We talked on the phone for a few weeks and he finally asked me out and suggested we meet up at the local ice cream parlor.

 



Thought this would be us....



 

Now, momma didn’t raise a fool, so I took many precautions.  Told my roommate where I was going and even gave her a time to call me, just in case I needed a reason to leave.  I also put a knife and a can of mace in my purse.

I arrived at the parlor and waited… and waited for about 15 minutes. I hate when people are late so I was irritated. As I got up to leave, he shows up (someone dropped him off) and apologized.  Two things stood out to me while talking to him. The abundance of red clothing and he barely opened his mouth when talking.  We sat down to talk. I declined on ordering anything because I had a feeling this date wouldn’t last long.

 

During our conversation, I mentioned all the red he was wearing and joked about him being in a gang. I was shocked when he replied that he was.  I was ready to run, but was afraid of what might happened if I did.  Trying to keep things light until the scheduled call from my roommate, I made a joke.  That’s when he laughed really hard and I saw the reason for the stiff mouth.

DUDE HAD NO TEETH!! None.  Zip. If he had some, they were doing a great job at playing hide and seek. 

At that moment, my roommate called and I was literally saved by the bell.  I used her call as an excuse to escape. Because he didn’t drive, he asked me could I drop him off at his house. I told him that I wouldn’t have time, apologized, and left. He called my phone for weeks until my roommate answered one day and told him I died coming to pick her up.

...it wasn't

 

When my friends bring up the date, we always joke that he suggested the ice cream parlor because he couldn’t eat solid foods.  We looked back at his profile and realized he always had a closed mouth smile. My friend also noticed in one of the pictures there was a Maltese in the background. Yep, a gangster with a girly dog (or maybe it belonged to a gangsta boo he didn’t tell me about).

So that is my worst date ever… a toothless gang banger that I am thankful didn’t carjack me that night!